Il m’a chassée avec notre bébé, puis mon père a sorti l’acte

travailler quelques heures par semaine.

Il n’était pas luxueux.

La cuisine était étroite.

Le parquet grinçait.

La fenêtre de ma chambre donnait sur un parking.

Mais mon nom était seul sur le bail.

La première nuit, Ethan se réveilla vers deux heures du matin.

Je le pris dans mes bras et marchai jusqu’au salon.

Un nouveau babyphone clignotait sur une petite table.

Une lumière bleue dans le noir.

Pendant une seconde, je revis l’autre appartement, le verre brisé, la porte claquée, mes pieds nus dans l’escalier.

Puis Ethan posa sa joue contre mon épaule.

Il était chaud, vivant, paisible.

Je compris alors que Paul avait eu raison sur un seul point cette nuit-là.

Quelque chose devait sortir de cette maison.

Mais ce n’était ni mon fils ni ma dignité.

C’était la version de moi qui croyait encore qu’un foyer appartenait forcément à celui qui criait le plus fort.

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